I Think It's Broken

So it had been a bad day. A really bad day. But it had finally wound down and it was time to head on out, meet up with some friends, and bitterly complain about our mundane lives. I was gonna need some money though, and that's when my friendly friend the ATM came to mind. He'll have money for me! He's always good to me like that. So with a song in my heart and a spring in my step I made my way to Mr. Moneypants, who is always happy to assist me.

Except for this time.

It's always a shock to be told your simple transaction for a pittance can't be completed, or that your balance is roughly $0. He still wanted to be helpful though, and provided me the option of looking at recent activity. "Well, let's just see what's been going on here." I thought. Suddenly I was assaulted with a flurry of withdrawals. Withdrawals I'm pretty fucking sure I didn't make though probably did. I do remember making deposits though. "What of the deposits!" I cried. There was no answer beyond the gentile hum of a machine that had grown cold, and ceased to love me.

I paused for a moment. Considered my options. Then finally did what any dignified member of a civilized society would do.

I punched the ATM. Just so it understood where I was at, you know?

Now, this is the important part kids so gather 'round and pay attention. However much you may believe that your local ATM is a poorly constructed piece of junk it's not. They are, as it turns out, incredibly sturdy machines. Much more than, let's say, the human hand. Moreover, as is so often the case, physics is not on your side. If you throw down with your ATM machine, you will lose. It's a tough lesson, I know, but it's a tough world.