Sausage

Cast of Characters

Sausage -- The local constabulary
Potato Hash -- Unemployed day laborer
Vaguely Meat -- Kind-hearted drifter

Act The First

Exterior -- Sausage approaches Potato Hash and Vaguely Meat.

Sausage: I'm afraid I'm going have to ask you two to move along. You know we have strict codes about loitering around here.

Vaguely Meat: We're not loitering, we're waiting.

Sausage: For what?

Potato Hash: To be eaten.

Vaguely Meat: Yes. Consumed.

Sausage: That's...That's disgusting! Besides, who in their right mind would want to eat an unemployed day laborer and a kind-hearted drifter?

Potato Hash: We're not sure.

Vaguely Meat: But somebody must.

Potato Hash and Vaguely Meat in unison: It's why we're here.

Sausage: How can you say you're here to be eaten when you don't even know who, or what, is going to eat you?

Potato Hash: I'll admit that's a good question. It's one I've been thinking about a lot since we got here, and I believe I finally figured it out. You see, this is where the eating will happen, so if we're here then we must be here to be eaten.

Sausage: That doesn't make any sense at all.

Vaguely Meat: Seems quite reasonable if you ask me.

Sausage: I didn't ask you! The both of you are insufferable. I should do the world a favor and run you in for vagrancy.

Vaguely Meat: I can't deny that it is your right, or rather duty, to enforce the laws of this plate, but if you were to do that who would eat us? What would that which is supposed to eat us, but is suddenly unable to do so, do having not eaten their destiny?

Potato Hash: You'll have to excuse my friend. He has a distinct leaning towards philosophical drama. We're simply two consumables with jobs to do. Now, are you asking us to shirk that duty?

Sausage: Well, uh, I guess not. I mean, that wouldn't be very civic minded of me I suppose.

Potato Hash: So here we sit. Awaiting our own fate, not harming anybody. Surely you're curiosity has been satisfied and we may stay?

Vaguely Meat: How could he not let us stay?

Sausage: Well. I guess. Though I'm still unsure of this supposed consumer you are so certain of.

Potato Hash: If you would feel more comfortable waiting with us, we would certainly enjoy having your company.

Vaguely Meat: Indeed! Stay awhile and I'm sure your fears will be allayed!

Sausage (with some trepidation): Yes. Perhaps you are right. I'll stay, but only for a short while mind you.